Traffic Stop

[Tiger]

A state trooper pulls over a speeding car. The trooper walks up to the drivers window and says, " I clocked you at 80 miles per hour, sir."

The driver says, "Gee, officer. I had it on cruise control at 60, perhaps your radar gun needs calibrating."

Not looking up from her knitting, his wife says: "Now don't be silly dear, you know that this car doesn't have cruise control."

As the trooper writes out the ticket, the driver looks over at his wife and growls, "Can't you please keep your mouth shut for once?"

The wife smiles demurely and says, "You should be thankful your radar detector went off when it did."

As the trooper makes out the second ticket for the illegal radar detector unit, the man glowers at his wife and says through clenched teeth, "For Heaven's sake, woman, can't you keep your mouth shut?"

The trooper frowns and says, "And I notice that you're not wearing your seat belt, sir. That's an automatic $75 fine."

The driver says, "Yeah, well, you see officer, I had it on, but took it off when you pulled me over so that I could get my license out of my back pocket."

The wife says, "Now, dear, you know very well that you didn't have your seat belt on. You never wear your seat belt when you're driving."

And as the trooper is writing out the third ticket the driver turns to his wife and barks, "WHY DON'T YOU PLEASE SHUT UP??"

The trooper looks over at the woman and asks, "Does your husband always talk to you this way, Ma'am?"

"Only when he's been drinking."

[k43_8mm]

~S~
Now they would be hanging me because most likely she would be dead.
their was another guy speeding and also got pulled over by a trooper
The trooper said it was almost the end of his shift and really didnt want to write a ticket
so he said give me a reason that I havent herd allready why you were going so fast and I might let you go!
Well the driver says, I saw you back their! and thats when I stepped on it! my exwife ran off with a state trooper and I thot you was him bringing her back!
Have a nice day Sir!

[Space]

There was this other trooper see, and he pulls Harry over for speeding and sees a fine rack o duck corpses in the truck bed. While hes got him pulled up, he decides to check hunting information also. So he up and asked the lad, seeing how he is on holiday here in the States, if he has a Minnesota duck liscence. Harry looks at the copper and askes, "How you know thats a Minnesota duck, officer?" Trooper sticks his digit up the ducks 6, pulls it out and gives a sniff, "Yep, its a Minnesota duck," he says, "you got that tag?" Harry pulls out the appropriate tag, being a lawful citizen and all. So then the cop looks back in the bed at another pair of mallards and asks, "You got a Wisconsin tag, mister? These 2 here are Wisconsin ducks, doncha know." Harry is squirmin a little and asks again, "How you know that's a Wisconsin duck, eh?" Dick Tracy reaches up the quackers poopshoot, smells the next finger and confirmes that it is indeed a Wisconsin duck. Harry, never to be caught on the wrong side of the law, produces a Winsconsin liscence for waterfoul. Then, that dang mounty sees, yuppers, a duck from Ohio! After the usual exchange of disbelief and confirmation, o; Harry produces, of all things, an Ohio duck liscense. Well, the cop is startin to get real suspicious of this Cannuck, so asked him, "Where you from anyway?" and without missing a beat Harry drops trou, turns around and says, "Hell officer, you tell me!